Four months ago I was sexually assaulted.
I was walking home alone at 3 AM (not the best idea, I know, but I didn't have much choice). I thought maybe someone was watching me at one point, but I just kept moving and made it all the way home. As I unlocked the front door of my apartment building, a man grabbed me from behind. He wrapped one arm around me, pinning my arms to my side, put his other hand between my legs to grope, and then bit my shoulder. I screamed, "HELP ME!" in a voice I didn't even know I had, over and over as loud as I could. Suddenly he dropped me and ran.
The whole thing probably lasted about five seconds tops, but it felt like a lifetime. Fortunately I was wearing biker shorts under my dress and his bite didn't break the skin. But the scariest part of the whole ordeal was that, even though I was screaming at the top of my lungs, no one came outside to help me.
I called the police from the ground. Lying there, crying and scared with a fresh bite mark on my shoulder, I called the cops. And then I picked myself up, walked upstairs, called my mother and waited. I watched; not one neighbor came outside.
And I realized, that man could have raped me. Or worse.
He could have dragged me in to the adjoining alley and done whatever he pleased with me. NO ONE came to my aide. Not one neighbor called the police or came outside. Later a co-worker told me I should have shouted, "Fire!" because people are more likely to respond to that; "Fuck you," is what I wanted to say to her. I was not in my own body in those five seconds. I was too scared to think of the most logical thing to do. If he had knocked me out or gagged me or silenced me in any way, he could have raped me in that alley.
And if he had, THANK GOD Barack Obama was the president. I work with children, I love them and want nothing more than to have my own. However, a pregnancy caused by rape is not something I would endure. I would absolutely have an abortion, because I know the alternative...
If Mitt Romney were the president and I was raped, I would have a trans-vaginal ultrasound, and then I would see the fetus in my uterus, and if I felt guilty enough, which I very well might, I would have that baby. But all the depression medications in the world would not help me through that pregnancy. I would have that baby and resent it and that child would not have the life it deserves. I KNOW this about myself, and I have watched enough "Intervention" to hypothesize that a traumatic event like being raped could send me in to a downward spiral... unless I was able to rid myself of the memory.
I am a person. I am a good person. I love children, and I want the best for each and every one of them. However, I am also the victim of sexual violence. Forcing unwilling mothers to confront their unwanted fetuses is just cruel; you can't guilt someone in to having a child. When you vote against abortion you are essentially voting for child abuse, child neglect, and children spending their lives waiting to be loved. That scares me more than a strange man biting my shoulder.
Please think of the women in your life when you vote this week, because sexual assault happens, and could happen to someone you love. It happened to me.
