#11- 23 and Brand New

I love my new job. I'm teaching preschool, two and three year-olds, in Chicago and I am having a blast. Children have always been my passion, playing with them and teaching them and making them laugh. They're sweet and funny and loving and fucking adorable. But my favorite thing about them...

Kids are new.

Every day my preschoolers learn something new. Sure, the same could be said about adults, but my kids learn something new each day that they will use every day for the rest of their lives. They are fascinated by every little thing; the texture of food, soap bubbles, the smell of play-dough, the weather, the moon, the L, underwear... You name it, they think it's amazing.

Sometimes I assume they know everything. I say, "Knock-knock." They respond, "Knock-knock." And then I realize they have never heard a knock-knock joke before, one of the most basic forms of comedy and something they will find hilarious once they understand. And I get to teach them that!

At times it can be hard working with newbies. When they rub dirt in their hair or play with their poo or put rocks in their mouth I think, "What the hell are you doing kid?!?" I want to say, "You should know better," but how are they supposed to know better if they have never done it before? There is a first time for everything, and I am very fortunate to bare witness to the first time they learn the most basic life skills, even if that life skill is not touching your feces...

All of this has changed me. Since I started working at a preschool I've noticed a difference in the way I walk down the street. In my early teens I walked with my head down, shy and self-conscious. Once I gained more confidence in college, I walked with my shoulders back, looking straight ahead ready to take on anything. But now, since these beautiful new minds have come in to my life, I have begun to walk like I did when I was a small child; looking up. I look at the sky, at the birds and the trees. I finally notice the tops of buildings I've passed a million times before. I study everything, and everything makes me wonder.

And I feel things more deeply. I don't mean emotions. I don't think it's possible for me to feel emotions more deeply. What I feel now is the world around me. Colors are brighter, sounds fuller, the wind blows in fascinating patterns. The air is fresher. Everything about my walk to work is new to me each day. You name it, I think it's amazing.

I am 23 and a half years old, and I am brand new.

I'm not going to encourage you to go out and explore the world as if you are a young child experiencing things for the first time blah blah blah. We feel things the way we feel them, and I happen to have been given a wonderful gift for the time being. Eventually it will fade and I will go back to walking past store fronts without looking up at the achitecture, not caring how the wind is blowing the leaves because it's messing up my hair. But for now, I will enjoy my second childhood and re-learn the life skills I thought I'd already mastered.

If you ever find yourself doing the same, I salute you.