I think I might owe everyone an apology...
Recently a few people, independent of one another, have told me that my latest narratives have come across as negative, emo, desperate even. This was never my intention. I titled this blog "Other Affirmations" because I wanted to use it to spread positive messages, and to make myself feel empowered. I might have gotten a little off topic as of late. I want to explain myself.
I am a happy person. I have a great life. I adore my family and friends, my job kicks ass and there really isn't any major upset in my world currently. Well, other than the Bulls... Let's not talk about it. The point is, I am not a complainer normally, but when I work out emotion I do it through writing, and that is why you get my bitter narratives about being alone. What I should be doing is expressing my positive, upbeat emotions and saving all the negative crap for my therapist... who happens to be me. (I'm very good.)
I do want to say that I don't like the connotation of the term "desperate." So what if someone is desperate? Aren't we all? We are all desperate for love, for affection, for satisfaction and the knowledge that we're doing it right. Sharing my writing is a way to say, "Hey, I feel this way. Maybe you do too." Some people respond with similar sentiments, and that makes me feel good. That satisfies my desperation for concrete proof that what I feel isn't strange. And I guess that is the whole point...
I AM NOT ALONE!
I know that. I do. When it comes to having a boyfriend, yes I am technically alone, but whatever. Honestly, in the past few months I have discovered that I love being single. I look at people in relationships and I think, "Wow, it must suck to share your bed with someone every night." It is so much more comfortable sleeping by yourself, is it not? The other day someone told me she and her husband had been together for six years. My immediate reaction was, "Oh my god. How could you be with the same person for six years?" For the first time in my life I am terrified of the thought of being with someone happily ever after... and I like it.
So the bottom line is I am sorry. I never meant to bum everyone out, or to give you the impression that I have no faith in humanity. I think what I found funny/sad about my life you just found sad. I can laugh at myself without the whole world reading about it I guess... or I'll become a stand up comedian.
Love to love you all.
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